The SSiJ Bar

…is now open!

Some of us will have fond memories of the Virtual Bar that I used to ruin, er run, on the old Forum. Alright, just memories then, but it was a laugh and we all miss it. Don’t we? Just me then…

Well it’s back! And not a trace of what the animals left behind them. Apart from that slightly musty smell and the straw in the corner…just stay away from the goat, not been milked yet and getting a bit impatient…

If you’ve not visited before, all the normal forum rules apply, but please bring a joke, funny story, any language but be prepared to explain if necessary, sit down with a Virtual drink, pull up a chair and treat this like your home. Actually that’s probably where I went wrong last time, which is why Aran has decided he’ll be too busy to pop in here too frequently because he’s allergic to animals, I think…

Yes, it’s a bit of a random place, but home to all - Croeso Mawr!!


Here’s the best joke in the world to get things going:-

Beth ydy’r Cacen y mwyaf peryglus y byd?
Meic Teisen!

What’s the most dangerous cake in the world?
Mike Tyson!

:thinking:Hmm, that works better in Welsh…:dragon_face:


Dwy Aerial yn cyfarfod, syrthio mewn cariad a phriodi.
Roedd y seremoni’n ofnadwy, ond oedd DERBYNFA’N ardderchog!

Two aerials met, fell in love and married.
The ceremony was terrible, but the RECEPTION was excellent!


Yup, that hit the tickle-spot!! What are you virtually drinking? I went to a Harp concert recently and am virtually still enjoying the barrel of mead I brought away with me…

I drink religiously. In fact, where I go the prayer books have handles.

Dai Llong was a sailor in a 3 masted schooner some years ago. Dai, unfortunately, was not at all popular with the rest of the crew. So much so that they marooned him on a remote pacific island.

Decades passed before he was spotted from a passing ship. The captain ordered a shore party and when they landed they met a bedraggled Dai.
Captain: “What have you been doing all these years?”
Dai: “Come over by here to my valley and I’ll show you”
They walk over to the other side of the island where they find a valley with a building on each side.
Captain: “Well, what are those buildings, Dai?”
Dai: “Those are my chapels”
Captain: “Chapels, Dai? Chapels ?! What do you want two chapels for? :astonished:
Dai: “Well that one over by there is the one I don’t go to”


Reminds me of the church where I got married - it’s a pub now!

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Schooner? Talking about drinking, can I buy you a free drink? I’ll virtually buy anyone a free drink, me :wink:

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A schooner of sherry. That takes me back to the good old days of Berni Inns - perfect accompaniment to prawn cocktail. :laughing:

I’ll join you, honey is ok, but fortified wines and prawns? Horse and carriage…

Haven’t had a snowball for donkeys years, Diolch.

Croeso! I had a snowball in January this year. We were in Kraków, Poland and it was -9 deg C. To be fair it was mostly ice and was thrown with some force, so I probably didn’t enjoy mine as much as you enjoyed yours…

Cerddodd dyn i mewn i’r SSiJ bar, agorodd ei bwrs, ffwdanu dros ei geiniogau ac ymhen hir a hwyr gofynodd am " wydraid o ddwr plis, a phecyn o greision plain?"
“Ah,” atebodd y ddynes tu ôl i’r bar. “Ti’n sengl, wyt”.
“Sut wnaethoch chi ddyfalu hynny?”, ddudodd o.
“Mae’n amlwg”, daeth yr ateb. “Ti’n hyll!”

A man walked into the bar, opened his purse, fussed over his pennies and eventually asked for a “glass of water please, and a packet of plain crisps?”
“Ah,” replied the woman behind the bar. “You’re single, you are”.
“How did you guess that?”, He said.
“It’s obvious”, came the answer. “You’re ugly!”

Aagh, somebody stop me! Take my car keys I’ve had enough!


That’s not my kind of snowball. Are you open lunchtimes and serving Sunday roast today and what’s the pud?

I can Virtually guarantee 24/7/365 service.
Roast is one of those three-birds-inside-each-other affairs, puds are:- Apple crumble with yellow gravy [What’s that s’posed to mean? Oh, is it? Ok], Eton Mess [Is that a comment on the Tory Leadership - no politics on ‘ere please. Oh, it is a pud. Is there cream? Ok, good], or Cacen blât cyrensen ddu.
Ok, I made that up - if you can come up with something better, it’ll be available.
Don’t bother bringing wine, we have plenty.
See you about 2? Or 3? Later?


Sorry too late just had chicken curry and a glass of doombar neu dau.
I like brown bread ice cream for pud, or ginger, or coconut, or …perhaps with some strawberries out of your garden.
Teisen lap perhaps!
Hopeless with jokes but food​:woman_cartwheeling::+1:

Funnily enough, all of those puds are in the fridge right now! And I’ve just opened a bottle of Limoncello for after. Although there is probably some Cytronovka knocking around…

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What a cŵl idea this is. I’m the one with the baseball cap on, hiding in the corner :slight_smile:

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Not any more you’re not :wink:

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Hey everyone, two Tongans, two Fijians, and a Samoan walked into the bar an hour ago.
All I said was, “Well done on your selection for the All Blacks Rugby World Squad Cup, lads!”
Apparently no-one’s supposed to know :grimacing:

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