I’m so frustrated! After an evening yn Gymraeg with good friends, I went into the supermarket feeling confident and comfortable with my Welsh. Noticing that the woman at the checkout was having a conversation in Welsh with the customer ahead of me, when it was my turn and she said ‘Good morning’, I said ‘Bore da’. We then went through the entire transaction with me speaking Welsh and her speaking English, all the time looking at me as though I was mad. It was humiliating.
I know there are lots of reasons this might be the case: maybe she thought she was making it easier for me, maybe my Welsh is so terrible she couldn’t understand a word I said, maybe I was so humiliated and embarrassed that I mumbled, maybe she just didn’t feel like speaking to a learner - who knows? Whatever the reason, I left there feeling like an idiot, with a queue full of people witnessing my shame.
I know that I’m now at the level where I should be having frequent, spontaneous conversations in Welsh, but I’m not sure it’s worth going through that experience just to buy some food. It’s not the first time it’s happened either, and I feel that I have enough to be getting on with without deliberately making myself a public spectacle. As much as I want to start every conversation in Welsh, I’d also quite like to keep a reasonable level of confidence and self esteem. Can anyone give me any tips, or even just convince me that it’s worth trying again?