This is absolutely not help to anyone but I just wanted to share. My partner & I have a bookshop and we started renting a stall at a local market. There were several Spanish speakers there, mostly from South America. I used the free SSI lessons to learn to say “I speak Spanish but I don’t understand it.” in Spanish and one Saturday went up to a couple of people speaking to each other in Spanish and said my piece. They started speaking to me in Spanish and I had to stop them “No, no, I DON’T understand it.” One of them said to me later that my Spanish accent was very good; they thought I was a Spanish speaker. So, SSI, that’s how good your Spanish course is … you get people to sound like native speakers. Well done.
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An update, finally
Haven’t written here in what feels like a long time, not have I done even any listening practices.
The truth is, I suddenly and totally lost interest. I asked myself today for the millionth time after guilt-tripping myself for not doing any practice, ‘why am I even doing this?’.
I read all the time on here about you all practicing your language(s) and having successes, but I am not even brave enough to tell friends who speak Spanish that I’m learning.
I think, shame though it is, that I’m just not a languages person. My brain is wired differently. I just don’t have the confidence to speak, or to seek out opportunities to speak.
I’ve never even been to a Spanish-speaking country! Money and time kind of hold me back from making that a goal too.
Honestly, I think I’ve always wanted to be able to speak a language just to show off, to prove I could do it.
Bit of a depressing read I know, but I think I’m slowly coming to the realisation that this just isn’t for me. Feels like a colossal chore with never any pay off.
Thanks for reading my blog anyway!
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Im most definitely not academic. But i now surprisingly find myself in language number 4. I tend to usually not include English as i was raised with it in Ireland. But i guess it stil had to be learned. Like i said im Irish so at age 38 i started learning Gaeilge. Difficult yes. But it quickly became a labour of love attending classes daily and week long courses, now i teach Gaeilge. Next came Cymraeg during lockdown. Again i threw myself into it totally from day 1 with zoom sessions and daily challenges, probably barely missing a day. Then started reading. Now i regularly attend hour long zoom sessions with almost no problem ( although since starting Spanish i feel my Cymraeg is suffering) Finally i find myself learning Spanish. From around May last year. So around 9 months. And like you i still feeling like im struggling more. Even though now i attend a Spanish class and practice in zoom.with a friend. But i still feel it’s not progressing like with Irish and Welsh. Funnily im going to Spain tomorrow for a week. So that will be the tester. I fully intend to use as much basic Spanish as i can. S9 we’ll see. But like I’ve said I’ve been here before i know its notoriously difficult to aquire a new language. It takes focus and dedication. And can quite often seem like its not working then BAM! It clicks with light bulb moments to help spur and drive you on. I honestly don’t remember Irish and Welsh being as difficult. But that could be for and amount of numerous reasons. I learnt the basics of Irish and Welsh snd starting using them almost immediately…unfortunately this hasn’t been the case with Spainish. But if i use the basics and more this coming week it might unlock my mind to access the next levels. And give me that light bulb moments and confidence i need. Basically stick with it there is and always will be bumps in the road.
Pob lwc,
( by the way if you are interested im happy to set up a WhatsApp group or zoom session to practice, but like i said the basics or reading practice )
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I’m not learning Spanish at the moment, but something that’s helped me when progress in Welsh feels slow is that I’ve also learned piano off and on over the years. I’ve only done grade 3 so it’s slow going and it will be a long while before I feel I can say “I play piano” without clarifying that it’s only a little, still learning, just simple pieces etcetera.
But the nice thing about learning an instrument is that improvements tend to be obvious. You can very much hear the difference between a clunky mess of uneven notes and a smooth flowing tune. And because they’re obvious, it’s very clear they aren’t linear. I have lost count of the number of times when I’d go over and over a piece or an exercise that just would not come right. Fumbling the fingering, losing the rhythm, too slow moving up to the high notes or back down again, it was a jangly mess of noise and I’d mash several keys down at once and feel so so useless… (I was also an emotional teenager. I don’t usually do that now… much!)
And then one day, I’d sit down to practise, and that piece would flow smoothly and musically. My brain had sorted it out “while I wasn’t looking” as it were. And because I was an impatient perfectionist, I’d roll my eyes at myself for not getting it before, and move straight on to getting frustrated over something else. 
But one day when I was particularly frustrated and possibly said something along the lines of “I’m useless!” or “I’ll never, ever get this!” my mother pointed this out.
“You and your sister both do this, and there’s no point. You should know by now you’ll get this.” (I won’t. Never. This one’s too hard.) “I hear you mashing the keys and huffing and grumping at yourselves… but then very soon, often the next time you sit down to practise, you play it perfectly. Why not just skip all the frustration and getting down on yourselves?”
And a couple of days later, she did indeed have the chance to reinforce her point. “Is that that piece you were struggling with the other day, when you got so annoyed with yourself?”
“…Yes, okay, you were right.”
And any time she was in the room while I was practising and getting frustrated, she’d remind me. It felt at the time like I was already miserable because nothing was ever going right and now she was telling me off for having emotions about it… but I’d try to be less “dramatic” about it (I was a teenager, it was important to prove her wrong) and I learned to pause and take notice when the piece finally came out as I wanted.
These days, I don’t take the struggling moments so hard, because I know, maybe not today, but if I keep going, this too shall click into place. And while I know that the final step between “just cannot possibly get this jumbled mess of notes to sound good!” and “hey, I played a pretty tune!” is impossible to predict precisely, I take a moment to celebrate after it’s happened.
The hard part was when I used to feel “I should have mastered this already,” and when it finally did come right, I had a bad habit of just sulkily thinking “about time, too!” instead of appreciating the achievement however long it might have taken. But something about my mother pointing out “you always do this!” helped me trust that the frustration of not getting it is (somehow, mysteriously) a necessary element of learning. I think it also helped that I could see the exact same process happening for my sister, and (she’s my baby sister) obviously I would never think she was useless for not getting something straight away, or that she’s anything less than brilliant.
The line is really stark with music. A mess of noise every day for weeks, and then… a tune! It’s less obvious with language, but I believe it still happens, and in a pretty similar way.
Right down to finding that sometimes when you’re trying to incorporate it into something new, something very fundamental suddenly becomes tricky again.
Until it isn’t.
Progress is uneven. Sometimes faster, often slower, occasionally it feels like you’re going backwards. (I have a tentative theory that the brain is reinforcing the parts of the fundamentals you now know from experience that you need, locking them into their proper places, and maybe even overwriting some “helpful” shortcuts that weren’t actually so helpful, all to improve efficiency.)
So please, don’t be too hard on yourself, and don’t give up on your goals. You can do this, and if you’re getting frustrated you might actually be really close to a breakthrough.
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Tourist Lesson 6 Again
Thank you for your replies @verity-davey and @Alan-Clifford.
I’m still feeling pretty naff about it all. I tried to do Tourist Lesson 6 again today. More on that later.
@Alan-Clifford I admire your dedication to languages! It’s funny because in almost every other area of life, I’m very self-motivated. I love exercising, cooking healthy meals, waking up early and doing housework, and I excel at those things. My motivation to do them is unstoppable!.. But why can’t I find that same energy to tap into with languages?
@verity-davey thank you so much for your reply. I’m sure you and I are the only SSi members who weren’t born linguistic geniuses!
It’s interesting because learning to play an instrument gave me the exact same type of stress and anxiety as languages do. I think the two go hand-in-hand and maybe I’m still not cut-out for either.
Anyway, I did lesson 6 of the Tourist Course. I can’t say I enjoyed it. It felt like a slog. Why?! I’m so frustrated that I can’t seem to like the process! I don’t seem to get that sense of achievement, only a worried feeling before and during the lesson. I was having a fairly good day but dreading doing a lesson, then I started and felt worse.
I got on OK with giving correct answers except this structure that stumped me because I am sure we have not been taught it:
10.00 Excuse me, can you tell me how I get to the supermarket?
Disculpe, puede decirme cómo [unintelligible] para llegar al supermercado?
Anyone know what the missing word/s is/are please?
I think a lot about all the people who already speak languages, either as a mother tongue or as a learner and it just depresses me. I feel ‘why bother?’
I’d better stop writing now as its getting into moaning territory but I think what I want to know from other learners is this:
Do you enjoy learning a language? Why? Does it make you feel good?
Edit because I’ve just thought of an important note: the key thing is that language learning makes me feel bad about myself. What I need to know is why and how I can change that
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Hola
Currently in Spain, well landed yesterday evening unfortunately haven’t used much more than Hola, Gracias. Which i have used for years anyway lol. Hopefully get more of a run at it today. But to be honest im not sure how lol
Hola Buenos días
Hola Buenos días…
Que tal?
Muy bien, cómo estás?
Muy bien…
Then what lol
Anyway yeah leaning things can make you feel bad initially until you grab hold of them and make some progress, but you can still many
I’m not getting anywhere
I hate this
Why am I bothering
This is too hard/ not worth it
Im stupid etc
Whilst learning guitar, to drive, learn a language,salsa etc.
And just maybe sometimes you are right…this particular thing isn’t for you or would worth the hassle. It depends how much you put into it and how much you are getting out of it and how much you want it. So as you can see it has SO MANY VARIABLES. Only you can ultimately decide. You really need to be persistent or stubborn or both. Set small challenges. See small progress. I usually set my bar at enjoying doing it. And i usually, generally do. But tbh Spanish is challenging that ethos. So this week in Spain will be kind of test to see what and where i go and do next. Before im also not feeling the progress i feel aught to have been achieved.
Adiós amigos
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Tourist Course Lesson 7
I made myself do the next lesson of the Tourist Course this morning. I still feel like a failure for not doing the ‘proper’ course, but then I was making no headway with it and I also don’t know if I’ll ever want to say He said that she said that she might say that I would have said that she was going to have said unto forthwith thenceforth… So for now at least I will just stick to ordering coffees.
I should say I am still getting (I would say) close to 90% correct, and dare I say I feel like I’m on the right track with pronunciation?
I do wonder if I’m just not putting in enough effort. Maybe I just don’t ‘want’ it enough, and I ought to be going to classes and doing lots of other activities. But goodness me, I work 35 hours a week and with housework on top, I’m just getting by doing a 30-minute lesson a day. Mental health is a large barrier, as I try to make time for fun activities (this was supposed to be one!). An I allowed to say that doing a workout, working on my art projects or caring for my houseplants always seems to take priority?!
Some stumbling blocks I came accross in this lesson:
-I struggle with the first narrator. Her dialect/accent is very very hard for me to work out
-the (what I believe is the) imperative form of girar is used. It’s never been introduced before and I can’t hear well enough what it is… gire/gir/gira maybe?
-I also don’t hear y pronounced as e before vowels at all but should I just take their word for it?
I know it might not seem like it, but I do want to be positive!
I want to be one of those learners who just accepts that this method introduces ‘sneak vocab and grammar’ and you need to work out how/why it’s used, instead of getting upset about being ‘caught out’.
Oh well. I wish I could get that sense of satisfaction from completing a lesson too! I generally think Thank God that’s over and done with instead.
I have really been contemplating just giving up, seeing if it would make me happier (and I bet most of you reading this will wish I would give up too! Please, please be honest if you do think so!).
Enjoy your holiday @Alan-Clifford !
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It’s hago - Disculpe, puede decirme cómo hago para llegar al supermercado?
Literally in English it would be “how I do” but more loosely “what do I do”
I can answer questions on the Spanish, but I’m afraid I can’t answer why you feel the way you do about language learning. I wonder if it would help if you could imagine it as some sort of game, like a detective challenge? You’ve overheard some spy conversation and you need to decipher the communication code they’re using … something to make it more fun in some way?
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This is gira if you’re using the ‘tú’ form, or gire if you’re using ‘usted’
y becomes e before a word starting with “i”, e.g. tengo café y leche e ideas para el almuerzo - I have coffee and milk and ideas for lunch.
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So you’re doing really well - 90% correct is excellent - but you’re still slightly beating yourself up for not being perfect, and also beating yourself up for not feeling the right way about learning?
Cut yourself some slack! It certainly helps to enjoy things you need to do regularly (motivation is harder to find when you don’t enjoy them) and it seems you’re blessed with a natural inclination towards quite a few useful habits, such as exercise. But, sometimes the process just isn’t fun, and it’s all about the end result for you. That is okay!
Feelings can be influenced, by focusing on positive points and forming a habit of cutting off negative thought patterns before they spiral, but you’re unlikely to be able to force your emotions to do a complete 180, especially not by piling on guilt.
Maybe just give yourself permission to feel what you feel? It’s not a crime. Honestly.
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While doomscrolling on Facebook, I came across this little video clip about How learning feels and I just thought it belonged on the SSi forum generally, and maybe especially here.
I personally learn because I like languages in general and I find how they work fascinating - this is the main driver for me behind Welsh, I just think it’s cool. I’ve been to Wales for a grand total of about 2 hours, and that was mostly in my car! I’d like to go to Eryri or Llyn at some point, but I don’t know if I’d feel confident trying to speak to people in Welsh.
Sometimes I find learning frustrating as well, and it seems like a slog for me. When that happens, I just take a break for a little while - it isn’t fun to force it and if I try, it doesn’t work. If I lose interest, or feel too tired, I just don’t study until it goes away. I had it last night, I was making the stupidest mistakes on very basic Welsh content, and I had to stop.
I second @verity-davey when she says to cut yourself some slack. 90% correct is pretty damn good, and the SSiW method is almost expectant of learners making mistakes - that’s how you learn.
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Thank you, I thought I heard a g-sound in the middle.
No problem at all You do a great job of explianing the language side of things in a not over-complicated way, so it would be a lot to expect you or anyone else here to be a therapist as well! I do mostly do this journal type writing for my own benefit, but honestly I do occasionally look back at what I’ve written and think ‘that was too much/too personal’, so if the staff do also feel that at any point, please do feel free to remove it/tell me! I know I have a tendency to be negative!
Ah, OK thank you. I just want to check that these things like hago above are intended to be something we should work out ourselves or ask on the Forum about? Or am I missing something? I know not doing an in-person course alongside isn’t ideal but time- and money-wise it’s more manageable for me to just do this course.
Thanks again!
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You know, it is so relieving to actually hear that! I do find all the success stories on here often have the opposite of the intended effect (to inspire other learners) and make me feel I don’t measure up, so it is sooo nice to hear from another ‘realistic’ learner!
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Thank you, I needed to hear that actually! I think I really just need to think about adapting my learning to me and the way I learn.
The plan (putting it here for accountability) is to have a look back at the things that originally made me want to learn a bit of Spanish for- I make pottery and love cooking and Latin America produces some amazing ceramics and recipes.
I think I need a bit of a ‘reset’ with my approach- perhaps to commit to just doing half a lesson of SSi a day, or just doing the Tourist Course but not guilt-tripping myself for it. Maybe I’ll even begin flying fully in the face of official advice and start repeating lessons (gasp!) 
I will definitely have a watch of that
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I read an interview with one of the head translators of the EU parliament a few years ago, a Greek guy who speaks some terrifying amount of languages, like 15+, and what he said was that he spends a huge amount of time just reading and practicing, because otherwise he loses proficiency. Don’t forget that behind all of the success stories you’ll read here has been effort and struggle (and probably frustration!).
Keep at it
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Sometimes, it’s just that it’s natural for the speakers to add a variation like hago in and they’ve done it without thinking. That tends to be the case if something only pops up once. Other times, if something is common, it will come up again. If you can work it out, that’s brilliant as it’s a skill that you need in real conversations, but if you can’t, it’s absolutely fine to ask on the forum. You can be sure that others will have been wondering the same thing
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Asking when you don’t understand something is also an important skill. It’s so hard, especially if you knew some impatient adults/teachers when you were young, to overcome the feeling that you somehow “should” know/have worked it out already. But it’s a vital part of learning.
I vividly remember being 7 or so, missed a lesson due to illness so didn’t know something the rest of the class knew, asked… and I got snapped at for being silly and not knowing already. But I was a pretty resilient, logical child back then (this being only the first time such a thing happened) so I remember thinking resentfully that obviously I didn’t know already, that’s why I asked and if the teacher won’t tell me, how am I supposed to know next time? Magic?! Teacher isn’t so smart, is she?
Still, get blamed enough times for not knowing already, you start to feel bad however illogical it is. I never lost sight of the logic, and kept that core feeling of annoyance that I was expected to know by magic, but other emotions did come to drown it out, and it’s hard not letting them.
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Tourist Course Lessons 8, 9, 10
No, I didn’t do them all in one day!
These mostly went OK, though I found I was just saying anything by the end of these (40-minute!!!) lessons. I do have some mental fatigue at the moment due to rubbish happening at work so my mind was often going blank.
I have a colleague who speaks Spanish but as he started learning as a child at school and also has a degree in it, I’m not in a rush to admit to him about my learning.
I really don’t have much to say about these lessons! I am dreading going back to the normal course to be honest, and I think it’s best if I start over at the beginning when I do.
Anyway, I think that is all for now. Thank you everyone for your words of encouragement lately
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