The moment I heard about the tradition of the Welsh lovespoon, I was captivated. Overcoming my fear of rejection has always been such a challenge for me, a lesson I keep coming up against again and again in my life, so I decided to start carving a lovespoon. My heart recently came back online after a long depression following a very abusive relationship that ended two years ago last week, and I thought this would be a great way for me to show my feelings for someone special I had met and one day, if the time ever felt right, go out on a limb.

I poured my heart into this little piece of wood that was given to me by an ancient sequoia tree I have growing near my place, and I felt like it guided my hand to carve what has turned out to be a bittersweet life lesson for me, one that was rejected before it has been finished…

Which leads me to the reason for this post - I don’t know what is supposed to be done with a rejected lovespoon, one that was rejected sight unseen before it was completed, with the intended recipient unaware of it. Should I keep working and complete it? Then do I keep it myself? Can I give it to my dad since it seems to make him a lot happier than it makes me? Should I wrap it up and put it in my birth mom’s old jewelry box somewhere out of sight? Is there any tradition at all for what happens to a rejected lovespoon?

Thanks in advance, and sorry if it was T.M.I.


Ah, Sasha…you would honor both the sequoia’s gift to you and the step that your soul has moved on to through the dark journey by completing the work. You started with a wounded heart reaching for completion-give the spoon fulfillment from your heart and keep it as a token of your wandering toward readiness.
Your spoon looks to me like an expression of a journey from a hollow to a full heart with polishing and ornamentation yet to be imprinted by you as the wood speaks to your hands through your readying heart.
Your readiness wasn’t rejected. Your spoon was not known. Love yourself first, and from that love spooning will come in its time.
Dal ati!


Don’t reject it Sasha, it’s beautiful even in an incomplete state - which holds true for humans to, since I think we all have stages in our lives where we feel anything but ‘complete’ but we still possess beauty, some outside, some inside, some lucky few both.

Whether you decide to keep carving or to leave it as it is, the heart you have put into it is already more valuable than you might appreciate right now. You can certainly give it to your dad and you will get pleasure from his pleasure at receiving it.

I don’t know of any traditions for rejected lovespoons and I’m not even going to look for any - this is not a rejected lovespoon, it’s a symbol of hope for a brighter future that you are creating by making it. Please don’t let that be hidden away.


@Sean-O @siaronjames

Thank you Sean and Siaron for your thoughtful and moving replies. I knew I couldn’t find a better group of people to ask this question to, but you’ve truly gone above and beyond what I had hoped for when I posted my lovespoon to the forum before going to sleep last night. I awoke to find your responses this morning and what a way to start the day, with your words of encouragement!

I hardly know what to say other than to express my deepest gratitude for the hope you have given me, my heartfelt sense of wonder at the goodness of people, and my many thanks for taking the time to lift my spirits along with the healing tears that followed.

I am not sure yet where my lovespoon will end up but do know I will honor it and honor myself by finishing it. Thank you.


I will honor it and honor myself by finishing it.

That’s what I really wanted to hear. You have given “life” to something beautiful and worthy of honour. :spoon::heart:


I also want to honor the sequoia who gave me the bough and who has guided my blade and given me the form my lovespoon has taken.


Thank you @HuwJones :heartpulse::spoon:

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Thanks everyone for the encouragement to carry on with my lovespoon. It is all done being carved and sanded, and for the next several weeks I will be adding coats of raw linseed oil every couple of weeks as it dries until it is finally finished. I’m glad I found the strength to complete it. Diolch yn fawr iawn!


I am sure that I won’t be the only one also admiring your magnificent backdrop…the craftwork there is also amazing.

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Thanks, yeah it is a journal my birth mom gave me 19 years ago made by Oberon Designs in Santa Rosa, California. They do amazing work. :hugs:

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It’s absolutely gorgeous Sasha, and so worth finishing. You have done the sequoia and yourself proud! x

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Thank you, Siaron. I’m so glad I decided to finish, and I’m so glad I reached out and you and Sean answered. I hadn’t worked on it in over a week and I was feeling like it would never be complete. Now that it has taken its final form and is growing shiny, shimmering like gold from within, I feel more peace inside myself. Thanks for being a part of the journey. :heartpulse:


and that’s the best result of all! x :slight_smile:


I’m a bit late to the chat but your lovespoon looks beautiful, one must love themselves first in order to love others! Gift it to yourself and let it be a reminder to how your loving character has shaped and polished you into a beautiful person!
I was looking at some lovespoons a while ago, feel in love with them! slipped a hint to that special someone, maybe I’ll get one:sweat_smile:

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Thank you. I hope you and your special someone will be spooning soon. :heartpulse::spoon:

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Well, after rubbing raw linseed oil into the wood every two weeks and letting it dry in between, my lovespoon is finally ready to go into my birth mom’s old jewelry box. Thanks everyone who encouraged me to finish anyway. I’m glad I did.


It’s beautiful Sasha and an achievement to be proud of, I’m so pleased you finished it and have found a special place to keep it. Thank you for the update🤗


What a great piece! You can be proud of it! :clap: :star2:


It’s gorgeous Sasha, a true treasure. I’m so glad you didn’t give up on it.

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Thank you @Tricia @gisella-albertini @siaronjames.

Thanks for the encouragement, everyone, both along the way and at its completion. It feels good to have it be done. :two_hearts: