The overwhelming majority - as in, 99.9% plus. This is a very special community, and we’re going to be keeping it that way… 
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As someone who has been rather vocal on many topics, i’m sorry if i am one of those who has offended.
To be clear, i’m just passionate about the language.
I am sure everyone with a passion just wants to express that. I know of noone who has deliberately set out to offend. Thats an important thing to remember.
I don’t think you’ve offended - you certainly haven’t offended me - but I’m sure this thread will be offering you extra clarity on why I gave you a few nudges. Passion is the trickiest thing for us - we want to see it, we want to inspire it, but we need it to remain entirely under control, so that the tricky nature of text-only communication doesn’t end up making it look unfriendly to others… 
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Maybe htere is a wondering (by some of you (or not at all )) why I’ve been so quiet in this thread for so long as usually I’m many times (neccessarily or not neccessarily) the first to respond. But now I just feel the need to write something too.
(Excuse me my long post (again …))
I’ve read the posts carefully (well at least I believe I did read them carefully enough) and … all of a sudden I felt that secret bit of guilt which always lurks somewhere behind in my conscience when word about such things as to be kind, supportive, polite …
Was I polite, supportive, friendly (and what’s more to it) enough? What if I wasn’t?
Yes, these questions raised in me reading this thread. And the answer is: No, I wasn’t always kind, polite and friendly enough!
I also felt guilty of (maybe) causing unpleasant feelings to some members with many times unconsciously “I know it all” behaviour what I became aware of in time and hopefully I’ve got rid of it now.
But I won’t accuse myself, not this time. Accusing myself is the thing of the past, the thing of me at the beginning of comming on here, not being always friendly and kind enough to many people and then my explanation would be I actually meant to blame and accuse myself and not stepping on the others. I also thought later on that many people went off the forum because of me and my not always friendly behavior, and for this reason I even asked @aran to delete my "Tatjana - Progress Reports" topic as I felt there was/is most of my unfriendly stuff written which surely wouldn’t contribute to anyone’s learning process neither to feel them welcomed on here.
But SSiW and especially you, members of this forum with the main protagonist @aran on the lead, gave me that something, that long lost part of me being lost in the wide wild world of Internet which brought almost as heavy, stressful and unbelievably threatening times to me as did to Aran and @CatrinLliarJones in the real life with exception of being life threatened. In the time I was most “heavy” toward people and self beating about my learning many of you but mostly Aran found the will to lead me though the learning process, being willing to give me all those extra specials I’ve got (translate this as “2 most blasting conversations with Aran”) making me realize I’m that one who has to change and not the world around me.
I started to work on main two things: a) learning the language as it should be learnt, without beating myself and expecting too much and b) polishing me in my behaviour, responses, writings on the forum, being helpful and welcomming when I am able to and just shut up when I feel happenings and writings could carry me away. (with exception of my happy YAY!s, and in seconds inspired graphics which I love to post here. )
Fortunately (now I am safe to say this) deliting of "Tatjana - Progress Reports) never happened and nowdays I’m kind of thankful for this as I know those posts might not be so hostile anyway and many people were saying later on that they were inspired with many things written there.
I’m also glad that all those (well majority of them) for who i thought they left bacause of me, are back on here again and they don’t just read, but actively contribute to the forum as they once did before. . It might be those members really went off because of me but clearifying things obviously brought them back and we started on kind of new relation.
So, I hopefully should believe I’ve succeeded with what I’ve worked (and still working) on and nowdays no one feels not-welcome, threatened and in any other way uncomfortable on here because of me.
To be honest, I felt this forum not being as friendly as it once was lately also with one more observation (I always have one extra ) : obviously this for it was also more quiet, much more quiet then I’d want and as it usually was during the Summer. Hopefully this thread will make all people not forget to be friendly and polite even if expressing their passion toward language (and a bit of policy if it’s unavoidable in deed). I for sure (even if I didn’t need this reminder at the moment) will pay extra attention to my writings so it might be you’d rather not see me in some topics then seing me expressing anger or “hostile” behaviour.
I hope I’m doing my part well and I will not ever be thankful enough to all of you here and especially to some people who literally came into my life and made it brighter, showing me a new way of not just learning, acheaving something, but also of relationship with the people.
For all bad things I once ago might do, please accept my deepest appology.
I love you all!
Tatjana
P.S.
I knew for this threatenigs to Jones family as I accidentaly stumbled on the article and video with it about this some years ago and was shocked.
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I can’t imagine anyone thought you were bad Tatjana fach.
In fact i’m sure you have helped far more than you have hindered.
feeling a failure at language or many other things in life is not unusual,
following your (struggle) progress has been a joy because of the happy ending
you are well ahead of me but as Aran say’s fydd i ddim poeni amdani .
Cheers J.P.
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I think it’s very positive that you have reflected in this way. “What have I done wrong? Am I a contributing factor?” And even more positive that you know that you do not need to blame yourself because you have learnt from past experiences.
I think most of us who have been involved in debates on here have felt a pang of reflection reading this post. And so we should! reflection is how we grow and improve. We do it with our Welsh learning, so we should do it with all our actions.
This post has made me think about a lot of interactions I’ve had. Online, face-to-face, over the phone, wherever. You learn a lot and I feel better in life when I say positive things. So, if I can’t be constructive (positive) I will hold my tongue (or won’t hit “reply”/“post”
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Ssiw has been miraculous in getting me to learn Cymraeg at a speed that I’ve never known before. I’ve treasured the welcoming and encouraging tone of the forum too - let’s keep it that way.
Excellent new book Aran!!
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On both Facebook and other fora I’ve made it a rule never to comment on, reply to, like (or dislike) any post that is aggressive, extremist or contains offensive language. If we all did the same, it would deny the originators the attention that they crave. Any parent will be familiar with attention-seeking behaviour by their children and in most cases the same response is required.
I fully support Aran’s stand on this topic: SSiW is like a big family - let’s keep it that way.
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I don’t remember you’d ever been unfriendly or unsupportive on here. I’m enjoying your posts (as I do of many others too) but thank you.
Thank you @ramblingjohn also and all the rest.
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I think it’s important and interesting that some of our best posters look at this kind of discussion and challenge themselves to be better - it’s probably an attitude which is an important differentiator in the wider world, too.
Just as we all make mistakes when using a language, so we all have our flaws and short-comings, our moments of bad temper and unkindness - and that’s okay. It’s part of being alive.
But the more we look at our behaviour, and think about our actions, the more we grow…
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@tatjana, I totally agree with John!! You are the kindest, most helpful, bending-over-backwards person here! You have helped me over and over and over again! Telling people of milestones and set backs is helpful! Not a bad thing!
I know I am very tactless - I had a few run-ins at work because I said things in a way which sounded much worse than I meant. It should be easier on here, as it takes longer to type than talk, but my strong opinions still get me into trouble and I do apologise to anyone whom I have caused any distress.
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I know and I’m aware of I wasn’t always like that.
I’m glad I did.
So did I and sometimes I tend to do so even now, but I’m learning how to hold back my temper even now when they made my department of 9 people remaining just 3 at the end with the same amount of work … The important thing is constant learning and improoving yourself no mater how old (or young) you are.
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It wasn’t anger with me, just - I called one chap an idiot once. I didn’t mean it literally - he had a PhD, so had to be quite bright, I just meant that, in the situation at the time he’d done something a bit silly, but he was absolutely furious and I had terrible trouble undoing the damage!
So I’m never sure if I’ve annoyed someone by mistake and, if I have, it is always by mistake! It must be much harder for you on here because you are never, ever using your first language! 
Yes. Too many times we’re unaware undoing the damage is very hard thing to do and you have to put a lot of extra effort to acheave that.
In a way it was, especially as I never have been to UK before (neither too far from home either) but having a chance to be in Wales for fabulous 2 weeks opened new horizons to me. I won’t say there aren’t stil hidden ones behind those which opened, but it’s a heck of a start …
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I must be really oblivious to things going on lately, since I have no idea what exactly this refers to, but I’ve been admittedly busy recently. I do hope whatever negativity came up gets sorted out though. My first impression of this place was that it was really friendly and welcoming and it would be a damn shame for that to not be the case anymore. I actually used to be afraid to join because I thought everyone would be too advanced to want to talk to me, but I was pleasantly surprised by the calm atmosphere.
Having to ban a person is always unfortunate though. I run a forum (mostly used by kids and young adults) and banning people for being rude always makes me feel like I’m some kind of weird Internet parent putting people in time out for doing stuff they know they shouldn’t be doing. But I’m glad you actively look after the wellbeing of the community @aran
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[quote=“FrankMorys, post:35, topic:6354”]
Having to ban a person is always unfortunate though. I run a forum (mostly used by kids and young adults) and banning people for being rude always makes me feel like I’m some kind of weird Internet parent putting people in time out for doing stuff they know they shouldn’t be doing.[/quote]
Don’t feel like weird parent when banning. I’m telling you this from my own experiences … If you’re too kind letting youngsters to do what they want it can turn way against you. I maybe know this the best …
And all here was obviously sorted at the right time not to spread any further I think. I never saw the staff of one forum being so calm, fair and kind as they are here. Thank you all once again.
I don’t think anyone actually got banned did they? Just warned and redacted.
.
I don’t visit this forum very often, largely through lack of time. There are never enough hours in the day. I visited most recently on the Aberfan anniversary, although I didn’t say anything. I had been sitting here in my home in Australia, weeping over the heartbreaking first-person accounts from a little village, half a century ago, on the other side of the world, and feeling like I needed to reach out and hear from other people who were weeping too. (I’m a little too young to remember Aberfan when it happened - and even if I’d been older, I think my parents would have protected me from terrible foreign news to some extent - but I certainly knew about Aberfan by the early 1970s, when I came across it in a magazine article.)
Because I don’t visit this forum often, I don’t know which have been the problem discussions, and don’t particularly want to know. But whenever I do visit, I feel like I’m being enveloped in a giant bear hug of friendliness. I’ve felt like that from my first post here, when I was overwhelmed with friendly, encouraging advice. It was a tidal wave of warmth and welcome. I’ve never experienced anything like it in any forum.
So I’m pleased that @aran is actively monitoring the discussions and promoting the rule of friendliness always, no exceptions.
I would sound only one small note of caution: the notion of what constitutes “friendliness” can vary from one culture to another. We come from many different countries, and our cultures are very different too, even across different English-speaking countries.
An example. I used to work with someone who was born and raised in Russia, and he was married to a Japanese woman. He said that when the in-laws all got together in his house, it was almost World War 3. They all spoke English, but Russian conversational style tends to be blunt and forthright, whereas Japanese discourse tends to circle around the topic, gradually getting nearer and nearer to what the person wants to say. The result of this was that the Japanese parents thought the Russian parents were abrupt and rude, always interrupting them, and the Russian parents in turn were impatient with what they perceived as the Japanese parents’ evasiveness and the way they took forever to get to the point! It took all of my colleague’s diplomatic skills to keep the peace.
So my point is, even when we’re all speaking the same language, we’re not necessarily using the same discourse style. We may all be trying to be polite and friendly, but our rules about what constitutes politeness and friendliness may be very different.
If someone speaks bluntly to you in this forum, and you feel hurt by it, ask yourself: are they really intending to offend? Could it be that they’re just from a culture that is accustomed to speaking more bluntly than yours does?
If they’re not actually hurling insults, it might be worth giving them the benefit of the doubt and saying something like “Perhaps you don’t realise how bluntly your remarks came across. I’ll assume you didn’t mean to offend…” Or, as someone said earlier, say nothing to them and let @Aran deal with it. I think the worst thing you could do is become inflamed by what they said and respond angrily. That could result in two people being banned.
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