There, I said it.
I occasionally felt good if I’d succeeded in having a talk with someone and understood them and didn’t make mistakes, but that hasn’t happened for a long time.
Some reasons I can think of:
-I’m not Welsh, so it feels like the language and culture aren’t for me
-to be 100% honest, I find Radio Cymru and S4C to be very, very dull! Oh another programme about how a celebrity learns Welsh fluently in one week and is a million times better than me after 1 day, well doesn’t that make me feel fantastic! And don’t even get me started on the music: ‘What?! You want us to play any of the excellent, modern Welsh music?! NO NO NO! Here, have this ballad about farming from 1783 instead, sung in archaic dialect’
-I have lost all my confidence
-I don’t have any friends or family who speak Welsh (and I don’t have any friends or family in Wales full-stop, to be honest)
-SSiW just honestly depresses me as I seem to be the only one struggling or feeling negative about it. Everyone else is full of joy and confidence
-my Dysgu Cymraeg course is so slow and boring (endless revision and pointless topics) and the other learners speak English when the tutor isn’t there. It’s also online-only still
-I’m constantly battling against poor mental health and social anxiety too. It’s an uphill struggle that I’m losing
Rant over! I know my posts are always so negative, and I apologise for that, but I think it’s time to be honest with myself.