I’ve really dropped off doing online chats over the last few months, and have realized that one of the biggest inhibitors for me is my habit (and thus fear) of blanking out. So often, I find myself unable to think of anything to say at all—even in English. I don’t even make it to the hurdle of forgetting how to say it in Welsh. 
It’s a problem I’ve had my whole life — I really want to engage in a conversation, but all ideas seem to fly right out of my mind and I freeze up. Does anyone else experience this? Any tips for how to get past it? I need to get back in the game!
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It might come as a surprise to those who I’ve had conversations with, but I know exactly what you mean, and it’s only years of practise that has meant I can appear not to have that reaction (at least not all the time! 
).
Here are my tips.
It’s just as important to listen as to be thinking of what to say next. If you can pick up on something someone has said and ask a question about it, it will help the conversation flow, and it’s far easier when you’re a little uncomfortable in conversation situations to ask questions than to answer them.
Of course, at some point you’ll need to answer things so at that point, take your time, think about the question, and if it’s a question you haven’t already asked first you can always finish your answer with something along the lines of “How about you?” which again keeps the chat flowing.
It’s often worth jotting down a few things as prompts (in English or in Welsh) so that if you do reach an awkward long pause, you can glance at them for ideas. Remember, they don’t have to be world-changing statements! They can be really ordinary things - what you’re doing next weekend / what you did last weekend / where you went on holiday last / what you saw on tv / what music you like or don’t like / a bit about your job / what’s happened during the day… things that may seem to you mundane and boring to talk about, but ignore that little voice that says “oh they don’t want to hear about that” because even those things can lead on to a deeper conversation. Yes, it’s ‘small talk’ but even for those of us who find ‘small talk’ challenging, it’s often better than that uncomfortable ‘no talk at all’ freeze. They call it the “art of conversation” after all, and just think how well LS Lowry did with his stick figures!
One other possible trick is to have a ‘prop’ (or two) at hand, a tangible object you can say something about. It could be a photograph, something related to your hobby, a gift you’ve received, a bargain you just bought… it’s just another prompt really, but sometimes it helps to have something actually in your hand to talk about because it can help break that ‘word blindness’ by making a different part of your brain engage.
For some (me included), that fear of blanking out never completely goes away, but at least if you keep having regular conversations you can hopefully banish it to lurking in background instead of it being right in your face.
I hope that helps - pob lwc a dal ati!
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Yes, yes, yes, exactly the same for me! I even find that this happens sometimes when I’m reading aloud in front of somebody. I guess it’s something to do with stage fright, the fear of not being able to perform.
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Great ideas Siaron! Just to say as well that the “blanking out” is related to the fight or flight response when we feel anxious or stressed about something. So if you can find a technique to help calm your body/mind down and reduce the adrenaline, that should help too - could be something as simple as three long, slow breaths in and out, making the out-breath longer than the in-breath.
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Hey, J - very good idea, asking for tips here.
Well, it actually always happened to me. But I can tell for sure that it’s possible not to let that discourage you from becoming a good Welsh speaker!
Besides the excellent tips above, I may try and suggest my “if everything else fails” trick:
One thing I realized it’s that fear of blanking out is somehow self-feeding itself. And a lot of effort in me trying to avoid it at all cost, because if it happen…I’ll be there stuck without being able to do anything at all! 
Or, I can get myself ready to say something so simple, that I’m likely to remember even though I’m just half-step away from panicking. :
I’m sorry, I’m a bit confused, I can’t speak any language any more now!".
And just ask/take a break to relax and collect ideas (as in Siaron and Ruth’s tips, for example).
I have to say that for me, speaking a new language actually helps by itself:
Welsh, with its as-concise-as-possible structure 
.
The challenge.
The learner status so I don’t necessarily have to be perfect, stepping into a sort of different persona/character with the new language, less memories linked to previous negative experiences Which also makes me think that’s important, especially in the beginning to take it easy, if you need and try to make sure that your early chats are fun - it will help confidence a lot.
I think each of us can find a balance between giving yourself a little push to speak (without waiting forever to be perfect, that will never happen) and just allowing yourself to just pause for a while, practice reading, listening and learning and then go back to speaking!
Dal ati! 
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Thank you all for the advice and encouragement! Those are some great ideas for me to try out. Just in time, too, as I was reminded yesterday how the challenge really does cross languages for me: had a two-hour long drive (each way) with a coworker, and I barely said anything the whole time for want of ideas. 
If conversation is an art, I’m currently painting with a pretty shoddy brush. 
Hopefully, armed with your tips, I’ll fare better next time.
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What you describe is exactly what happens to me. My mind goes completely blank when anyone says anything in Welsh to me. On the other hand I feel I’m doing quite well in the individual challenges. This is why I haven’t joined a chat group yet. I’m hoping that I will suddenly be able to speak Welsh as if by magic! I guess it’s about trusting a certain person who is prepared to listen to my effort to get a few words out. Someone who you know won’t burst out laughing or get annoyed.
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@JenniferL It’s frustrating, isn’t it? The challenges are, well, challenging, but don’t seem to trigger that same blankness. At least part of the translation usually pops into mind because the answer has already been given to me, so to speak. But questions I wasn’t expecting? Or even topics mentioned in advance of the chat? Suddenly, all ideas swoop out of reach like terrified birds.
I ventured into the Saturday at Noon Zoom chat again today after a while away, and was reminded just how friendly and welcoming a group it is. If you can work up the nerve to jump into an SSiW chat, I’m sure no one would laugh or get annoyed. You could also try the same trick I did today, to psych up for it: muttering to myself in Welsh about random things for a half hour before the chat. I felt like a madwoman, but it did seem to get my brain into the right language mode.
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Thank you for posting this topic. I thought it was just me! I completed level 2 earlier in the year, but never plucked up courage to join an online chat for two reasons. One I was worried about the IT aspect and secondly I didn’t feel I had enough vocabulary. So I tried Duo Lingo and maybe picked up a little more vocab but of course it hasn’t helped with speaking. In September I joined an intensive course with Dysgu Cymraeg. We are already near to finishing Mynediad 2 and it has been very interesting and useful, but I struggle to remember a lot of vocabulary and I am still suffering from “brain freeze”. I do agree that the more you worry about it the more it seems to happen and, like you say, it doesn’t seem to happen when doing the challenges. You have reminded me that the ssiw members are a friendly bunch and I really must pluck up courage and try a chat. JHyde if you would like to chat 1:1 sometime I would be happy to give it a go but I am only Level 2 (don’t know what Level you are). Maybe if we understand that we both have same problem, we won’t worry about blanking out.
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Oh, then we met today at Saturday at Noon . You did fine, by the way! @rich
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I thought maybe so, but didn’t want to assume it was the same Gisella. Good to talk to you in-person! Thanks again for the tips — they did help give me the confidence to jump back in. 
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Hi @JHyde
Having caught up with the thread above there is some fabulous advice for something which is a challenge we’ve all had I’m sure (I have anyway).
I’m a big fan of one of @siaronjames many gems of advice…which is to ‘hard wire’ being able to say ‘what about you?’ under any circumstances 
Beth amdana ti? Neu…Beth amdanoch chi?
…because there is no thought required about which tense, no thought required about what the question should be - it’s just a set ‘get out of jail free’ phrase to force from your lips…
…if you have given any kind of answer already and have stalled, you can just tack it on the end to ‘get the ball back over the net’ and make it the other person’s job to think about what to say next…
…if you have been asked a question and don’t know what to say…you go for the slight extension and say…www, I don’t know - what about you?! it’s a solution for all occasions!
Whilst of course the primary thing is it takes pressure off you immediately - phew! - it has many side benefits in keeping the conversation flowing - so there is no gap ( that dreaded problem never happens) - and of course the other person starts talking about things/ topics, introducing options for you, of things you might say or comment on (or not!).
However, yesterday it didn’t seem like you needed my two cents worth - you were very slick! In fact - I was very impressed with your Welsh which seems to have have really moved on, so your hard work, listening to the news on Radio Cymru and those Rownd a Rownd episodes are really paying off! (all of those things and more you told me/ us yesterday)
Keep up the good work!
Rich
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@Mary30-3 No, you’re definitely not alone in the struggle. I’m glad I did post this, because it seems like all of the great ideas posted here can help a lot of people. I’m not quite ready to jump into one-on-one chats just yet (my introversion is a force to be reckoned with, haha), but I should have the confidence soon, and I’ll keep you in mind for a contact.
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Thanks, @rich! It means so much to hear that I’ve made progress. It was really evident to me yesterday just how much all of my listening practice has helped with comprehension. I was able to understand so much more of the conversation yesterday than just a few months ago (and much more easily than the strong accents on Rownd a Rownd ).
Yes that “Beth amdana ti / amdanoch chi?” advise is priceless! I’ll be trying to make better use of in English conversations as well as Welsh.
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